Overcoming the "Church Lady" Syndrome
'How do you think God feels about sex?' (229)
"the clitoris serves absolutely no other biological purpose than to provide a woman pleasure" (231)
Have you suffered from "Church Lady" Syndrome?
How did you overcome your "Church Lady" Syndrome?
What are you doing to combat "Church Lady" Syndrome in your church?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Chapter 14
Refueling That Lovin' Feeling
We begin to feel more like roommates than soul mates. (212)
Fuel for a woman's heart...Remember that it's easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than to feel your way into a new way of acting. (216)
Fuel for a husband's heart...Favorite four-letter word, N-I-C-E, favorite five-letter word, H-A-P-P-Y, favorite six-letter word, F-R-I-E-N-D, favorite seven-letter word, R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Passionate Love and Companionate Love
Passionate love fades as the brain builds up a tolerance. But, companionate love lasts and lasts.
What action are you going to take to fuel your heart?
What action did you take to fuel your husband's heart?
Maybe going way off topic...
Supposing you were in a long term relationship and then decided to marry that person, would the action of getting married put you back in the passionate love state? Why or why not?
Do you suppose that people who are in long term, unmarried relationships find compaionate love, thus keeping them from the need to get married? Why or why not?
How does the comment on Focus on the Family about a woman's spirit being crushed by a male who will sleep with her and not marry her play into passionate and companionate love? Does she stay because her spirit is crushed or because she has found a companion? Does he keep her around just to get sex or because he enjoys the companionship?
We begin to feel more like roommates than soul mates. (212)
Fuel for a woman's heart...Remember that it's easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than to feel your way into a new way of acting. (216)
Fuel for a husband's heart...Favorite four-letter word, N-I-C-E, favorite five-letter word, H-A-P-P-Y, favorite six-letter word, F-R-I-E-N-D, favorite seven-letter word, R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Passionate Love and Companionate Love
Passionate love fades as the brain builds up a tolerance. But, companionate love lasts and lasts.
What action are you going to take to fuel your heart?
What action did you take to fuel your husband's heart?
Maybe going way off topic...
Supposing you were in a long term relationship and then decided to marry that person, would the action of getting married put you back in the passionate love state? Why or why not?
Do you suppose that people who are in long term, unmarried relationships find compaionate love, thus keeping them from the need to get married? Why or why not?
How does the comment on Focus on the Family about a woman's spirit being crushed by a male who will sleep with her and not marry her play into passionate and companionate love? Does she stay because her spirit is crushed or because she has found a companion? Does he keep her around just to get sex or because he enjoys the companionship?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Chapter 13
Rising to the Challenge
Hurdles Discussed...
The Monthly Challenge
The Nine-Month Challenge
The Postpartum Challenge
"Recurrent" Challenges (STDs)
Father Time Challenge
When He Needs a Little Help
When She Needs a Little Help (includes discussion of some toys)
Going to the Extremities?
Are you committed to overcoming such physical hurdles when they appear?
Have you encouraged other women in tackling hurdles in their marriages?
What do you think about toys?
What do you think about hormonal therapy?
Have you talked to older women about their experiences with hormonal therapy?
Do you ever spend time focusing on just hands, feet, and face like suggested on 210?
Hurdles Discussed...
The Monthly Challenge
The Nine-Month Challenge
The Postpartum Challenge
"Recurrent" Challenges (STDs)
Father Time Challenge
When He Needs a Little Help
When She Needs a Little Help (includes discussion of some toys)
Going to the Extremities?
Are you committed to overcoming such physical hurdles when they appear?
Have you encouraged other women in tackling hurdles in their marriages?
What do you think about toys?
What do you think about hormonal therapy?
Have you talked to older women about their experiences with hormonal therapy?
Do you ever spend time focusing on just hands, feet, and face like suggested on 210?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Chapter 12
Redefining "Normal"
Blue Issues:
1) Is it normal that my husband wants sex practically all the time?
2) Is it normal that my husband wants to engage in anal sex?
3) Is it normal that my husband completely disconnects after sex?
4) Is it normal that my husband has a sexual fetish?
Pink Issues:
1) Is it normal that I want to have sex all the time?
2) Is it normal that I prefer to fake it rather than exert the necessary energy to experience orgasm?
3) Is it normal for me to break down and cry or break out in laughter after experiencing orgasm?
4) Is it normal that my body makes some strange sounds during sex?
That wraps up her discussion of mental obstacles. Physical coming next week...
Questions for discussion...
Was this chapter reassuring to you?
What in this chapter, if you don't mind sharing, did you find most beneficial?
Blue Issues:
1) Is it normal that my husband wants sex practically all the time?
2) Is it normal that my husband wants to engage in anal sex?
3) Is it normal that my husband completely disconnects after sex?
4) Is it normal that my husband has a sexual fetish?
Pink Issues:
1) Is it normal that I want to have sex all the time?
2) Is it normal that I prefer to fake it rather than exert the necessary energy to experience orgasm?
3) Is it normal for me to break down and cry or break out in laughter after experiencing orgasm?
4) Is it normal that my body makes some strange sounds during sex?
That wraps up her discussion of mental obstacles. Physical coming next week...
Questions for discussion...
Was this chapter reassuring to you?
What in this chapter, if you don't mind sharing, did you find most beneficial?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Chapter 11
Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
1 Sex is intended to be pleasurable to both husband and wife.
2 Sex should never be painful to either partner (physicial or emotional).
3 Sex should foster a sense of trust and intimacy in marriage.
Shannon discusses boundaries and why some need to be set...
1 help to establish boundaries that keep you happy and healthy.
2 build your self-confidence and help you experience the most pleasure possible.
3 foster deeper levels of trust and intimacy in your marriage.
How does fantasy, talking dirty, role-playing, porn, PDA, and three-way help/hinder sexual confidence? A discussion of these took several pages.
Finally, the chapter wrapped up with a reminder to be yourself. Do not do whatever makes him happy if it makes you unhappy.
I feel like any questions I could come up with would go into the way to personal category for this chapter.
How have you dealt with setting boundaries?
Have you had any struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries?
Other questions STRONGLY encouraged!
1 Sex is intended to be pleasurable to both husband and wife.
2 Sex should never be painful to either partner (physicial or emotional).
3 Sex should foster a sense of trust and intimacy in marriage.
Shannon discusses boundaries and why some need to be set...
1 help to establish boundaries that keep you happy and healthy.
2 build your self-confidence and help you experience the most pleasure possible.
3 foster deeper levels of trust and intimacy in your marriage.
How does fantasy, talking dirty, role-playing, porn, PDA, and three-way help/hinder sexual confidence? A discussion of these took several pages.
Finally, the chapter wrapped up with a reminder to be yourself. Do not do whatever makes him happy if it makes you unhappy.
I feel like any questions I could come up with would go into the way to personal category for this chapter.
How have you dealt with setting boundaries?
Have you had any struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries?
Other questions STRONGLY encouraged!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Tantalizing Sexual Techniques
Before I start, the man on page 146 looks like the sower on top of the capitol building. Okay, now that that is out of my system...
Chapter 10
What really gets me going sexually is...
1) When you give me that "I want you" smile.
2) When you kiss me--I mean really kiss me.
3) When you reveal parts or all of your body for my viewing pleasure.
4) When you show me you're ino it by initiating creative sexual positions.
5) When you touch me in ways that you know send me through the roof! (Pages 135-136)
1) Effort minimal. Boost to confidence, for both of you, BIG.
2) Practice makes for lots of fun.
3) Be comfortable in your own skin. (I would add regardless of current size.)
4-5) Lots of ideas and suggestions on the remaining pages in this chapter.
Which one of you is hesitant about kissing (I mean REALLY kissing)? Looking back on the past do you get an understanding of how you and your spouse respond to REALLY kissing were formed?
How hard of a concept is that to wrap your mind around? He wants to see all of me even the stretch marks, saggy boobs, size ___, etc.
Ever had the, "I can't initiate anything. I'm suppose to be the nieve, godly wife. What if he asks where I got the idea to do that from?"
How do you combat the voice of doubt?
Chapter 10
What really gets me going sexually is...
1) When you give me that "I want you" smile.
2) When you kiss me--I mean really kiss me.
3) When you reveal parts or all of your body for my viewing pleasure.
4) When you show me you're ino it by initiating creative sexual positions.
5) When you touch me in ways that you know send me through the roof! (Pages 135-136)
1) Effort minimal. Boost to confidence, for both of you, BIG.
2) Practice makes for lots of fun.
3) Be comfortable in your own skin. (I would add regardless of current size.)
4-5) Lots of ideas and suggestions on the remaining pages in this chapter.
Which one of you is hesitant about kissing (I mean REALLY kissing)? Looking back on the past do you get an understanding of how you and your spouse respond to REALLY kissing were formed?
How hard of a concept is that to wrap your mind around? He wants to see all of me even the stretch marks, saggy boobs, size ___, etc.
Ever had the, "I can't initiate anything. I'm suppose to be the nieve, godly wife. What if he asks where I got the idea to do that from?"
How do you combat the voice of doubt?
Monday, August 31, 2009
Chapter 9
Developing a Girl Scout Mentality (or is it a Nike Mentality?)
Confidence Busters and Boosters
1) Burning the Candle at Both Ends
1) Reserving Energy for Life's Priorities
2) Neglecting Personal Hygiene
2) Showering and Shaving
3) Wearing Granny Panties
3) Wearing Comfortable. Sexy Lingerie
4) Fearing Intrusive Children
4) Claiming a Parental "Time Out"
5) Getting Sidetracked by Surroundings
5) Creating a Peaceful Private Sanctuary
6) Letting the Well Run Dry
6) Keeping Lotions and Potions Nearby
7) Feeling Like a Piece of Meat
7) Feeling Like a Sexual Goddess
So...
When are you busted?
When are you boosted?
Where have you found "comfortable, sexy lingerie"?
How does the whole only shaving the lower part of the leg play into "Showering and Shaving"?
What makes your bedroom a "Peaceful Private Sanctuary"?
Confidence Busters and Boosters
1) Burning the Candle at Both Ends
1) Reserving Energy for Life's Priorities
2) Neglecting Personal Hygiene
2) Showering and Shaving
3) Wearing Granny Panties
3) Wearing Comfortable. Sexy Lingerie
4) Fearing Intrusive Children
4) Claiming a Parental "Time Out"
5) Getting Sidetracked by Surroundings
5) Creating a Peaceful Private Sanctuary
6) Letting the Well Run Dry
6) Keeping Lotions and Potions Nearby
7) Feeling Like a Piece of Meat
7) Feeling Like a Sexual Goddess
So...
When are you busted?
When are you boosted?
Where have you found "comfortable, sexy lingerie"?
How does the whole only shaving the lower part of the leg play into "Showering and Shaving"?
What makes your bedroom a "Peaceful Private Sanctuary"?
Monday, August 24, 2009
Chapter 8
Experiencing the Big "Oh!"
She has a really good memory. This chapter begins with a story about her "abnormal" vagina.
The bases: 1st-French kiss, 2nd-nipple stimulation, 3rd-vaginal stimulation, Home Plate-intercourse. So, when you aren't in the mood. Since 1st base is connected to home, just have hubby go slowly around the bases when you aren't in the mood.
The clitoris has 8000 nerve fibers (p109).
G-spot stimulation can lead to "female ejaculation" (p 110).
You may take 20-30 minutes to reach orgasm (p 113).
See Chapter 7 microwave vs. crockpot anology.
"Stinking thinking" often leads to "sexual insecurities" (p 114).
Don't you hate it when that happens? Do you have regular insecurities that continue to creep up? Have you had insecurities in the past? What have you done to get rid of them?
She has a really good memory. This chapter begins with a story about her "abnormal" vagina.
The bases: 1st-French kiss, 2nd-nipple stimulation, 3rd-vaginal stimulation, Home Plate-intercourse. So, when you aren't in the mood. Since 1st base is connected to home, just have hubby go slowly around the bases when you aren't in the mood.
The clitoris has 8000 nerve fibers (p109).
G-spot stimulation can lead to "female ejaculation" (p 110).
You may take 20-30 minutes to reach orgasm (p 113).
See Chapter 7 microwave vs. crockpot anology.
"Stinking thinking" often leads to "sexual insecurities" (p 114).
Don't you hate it when that happens? Do you have regular insecurities that continue to creep up? Have you had insecurities in the past? What have you done to get rid of them?
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Chapter 7
Befriending the Body Image Bear
45% of women are deting on any given day (p 87)
Do you diet? What do you do to maintain a healthy weight without dieting? How long do your diets normally last?
Do you struggle with taking your husband's compliments at face value? (p 90)
What do you do when you doubt your sexual attractiveness to boost your confidence? (p 91-92)
Top 10 Positive Body Image Tactics
1 Rid your mind of sexual stereotypes.
2 Don't assume that your husband is pointing out your flaws every time he touches you.
3 Take a helthy inventory.
4 Focus on function, and be grateful.
5 Avoid unrealistic comparisons.
6 Choose your vocabulary wisely.
7 Choose your wardrobe wisely.
8 Learn to like what you see when you look in the mirror.
9 Learn to love who you see in the mirror.
10 Teach other women how to treat themselves.
Which of these is your weakest area? Which is your strongest area?
45% of women are deting on any given day (p 87)
Do you diet? What do you do to maintain a healthy weight without dieting? How long do your diets normally last?
Do you struggle with taking your husband's compliments at face value? (p 90)
What do you do when you doubt your sexual attractiveness to boost your confidence? (p 91-92)
Top 10 Positive Body Image Tactics
1 Rid your mind of sexual stereotypes.
2 Don't assume that your husband is pointing out your flaws every time he touches you.
3 Take a helthy inventory.
4 Focus on function, and be grateful.
5 Avoid unrealistic comparisons.
6 Choose your vocabulary wisely.
7 Choose your wardrobe wisely.
8 Learn to like what you see when you look in the mirror.
9 Learn to love who you see in the mirror.
10 Teach other women how to treat themselves.
Which of these is your weakest area? Which is your strongest area?
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Chapter 6
Harnessing Your Sexual Power
Hi Everybody,
Sorry, for the two week absence.
Heidi, how is the spoiling going?
Page 79, How do you work at creating the "ideal love"?
Page 80, How do you handle the media portral of the "I'm to tired" for sex wife?
Hi Everybody,
Sorry, for the two week absence.
Heidi, how is the spoiling going?
Page 79, How do you work at creating the "ideal love"?
Page 80, How do you handle the media portral of the "I'm to tired" for sex wife?
Monday, July 20, 2009
Chapter 5
Cutting Soul Ties That Bind
Favorite work of fiction?
Favorite film?
Favorite song?
Favorite poem?
Favorite fairy tale?
Do you "love too much"?
Ten steps toward sexual freedom:
1 Admit that your sexual identity needs reshaping.
2 Make your own list.
3 Identify the theme.
4 Learn the lesson.
5 Forgive others.
6 Forgive yourself.
7 Create a "no contact" rule.
8 Create a "no comparison" rule.
9 Keep your slate clean.
10 Forget intensity and focus on intimacy.
Favorite work of fiction?
Favorite film?
Favorite song?
Favorite poem?
Favorite fairy tale?
Do you "love too much"?
Ten steps toward sexual freedom:
1 Admit that your sexual identity needs reshaping.
2 Make your own list.
3 Identify the theme.
4 Learn the lesson.
5 Forgive others.
6 Forgive yourself.
7 Create a "no contact" rule.
8 Create a "no comparison" rule.
9 Keep your slate clean.
10 Forget intensity and focus on intimacy.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Chapter 4
Healing the Scars of Sexual Abuse
Early in my walk with the Lord, I really struggled with past sexual stuff (I hadn't allowed myself to call it rape. I blamed myself for getting sick and letting my guard down.) As I have grown and heard women talk about the awful things that happened to them and how they found the Lord through those struggles, I have been amazed how God can bring such strength out of women without making them hard.
With 1/3 of women experiencing some sort of sexual abuse in their lifetime (p 47), I wish women were more open to sharing their stories. Hearing other women speak of their experiences causes one of two reactions in me. One, "Wow! My experience is nothing compared to theirs. What am I whinning about?" Two, "If they aren't being dragged down and feeling unloved by God, then, why am I letting my past stop me from feeling God's love?"
The feeling of being unlovable is, I believe, so on the surface with many women. It is hard to imagen a loving God who would love us inspight of what has happened or that would allow what happened to happen if He truely did love us. Yet, as I look back on what happened to me (which in the big picture, I realize is nothing compared to what so many other women have been through) I see God's hand protecting me through it. He knew I needed to be broken before I would let Him in. He didn't allow me to get pregnant or get an STD. And inspight of my abuser saying that he was going to take me far away from my family where I would be souly dependent on him, God didn't allow that to happen either.
Again, I find myself in awe of God as Shannon shares her abuse and that of Lynn (p 45), Emily (p 46), Holly (p 46), and Carol (p 54).
As Shannon began discussing the Ten Steps Toward Healing From Sexual Abuse (p 49), I began to think of my mom. Before I was born, but after my parents were married, some guy grabbed my mom in the alley out back of their home in Sioux City, IA. He told her he just wanted to feel her breasts. That was all I knew of the incident until I asked her about it while reading this chapter. She said that when she talked to her priest after the incident he said it was her fault for the way she was dressed. How can my mom continue to be Catholic with a priest like that?
I do realize that slim balls come in all types of religious garb. Also, I believe, that although, my mom's religious practices look different from my own, that she talks to Jesus regularly and clings to Him for help, support, and love through all the struggles that get put in her path. Her strength, that I am only beginning to understand, is the foundation I was raised on.
How has sexual abuse impacted your life?
Would the steps Shannon offers in this book be a future resource for you if you or someone you know were sexually abused?
Early in my walk with the Lord, I really struggled with past sexual stuff (I hadn't allowed myself to call it rape. I blamed myself for getting sick and letting my guard down.) As I have grown and heard women talk about the awful things that happened to them and how they found the Lord through those struggles, I have been amazed how God can bring such strength out of women without making them hard.
With 1/3 of women experiencing some sort of sexual abuse in their lifetime (p 47), I wish women were more open to sharing their stories. Hearing other women speak of their experiences causes one of two reactions in me. One, "Wow! My experience is nothing compared to theirs. What am I whinning about?" Two, "If they aren't being dragged down and feeling unloved by God, then, why am I letting my past stop me from feeling God's love?"
The feeling of being unlovable is, I believe, so on the surface with many women. It is hard to imagen a loving God who would love us inspight of what has happened or that would allow what happened to happen if He truely did love us. Yet, as I look back on what happened to me (which in the big picture, I realize is nothing compared to what so many other women have been through) I see God's hand protecting me through it. He knew I needed to be broken before I would let Him in. He didn't allow me to get pregnant or get an STD. And inspight of my abuser saying that he was going to take me far away from my family where I would be souly dependent on him, God didn't allow that to happen either.
Again, I find myself in awe of God as Shannon shares her abuse and that of Lynn (p 45), Emily (p 46), Holly (p 46), and Carol (p 54).
As Shannon began discussing the Ten Steps Toward Healing From Sexual Abuse (p 49), I began to think of my mom. Before I was born, but after my parents were married, some guy grabbed my mom in the alley out back of their home in Sioux City, IA. He told her he just wanted to feel her breasts. That was all I knew of the incident until I asked her about it while reading this chapter. She said that when she talked to her priest after the incident he said it was her fault for the way she was dressed. How can my mom continue to be Catholic with a priest like that?
I do realize that slim balls come in all types of religious garb. Also, I believe, that although, my mom's religious practices look different from my own, that she talks to Jesus regularly and clings to Him for help, support, and love through all the struggles that get put in her path. Her strength, that I am only beginning to understand, is the foundation I was raised on.
How has sexual abuse impacted your life?
Would the steps Shannon offers in this book be a future resource for you if you or someone you know were sexually abused?
Monday, July 6, 2009
Chapter 3
First off...Congratulations to Nicole on her BEAUTIFUL baby girl. And Congratulations to Heidi on becoming an aunt again. Happy spoiling!
Rewinding Our Childhood Tapes...
Just the title of this chapter makes my mind rush with a LOT of Catholic c***!
So, I realize no one is reading this book along with where we are in our discussion. However...
Shannon begins this chapter talking about negative tapes she had growing up. She then went on to talk about changing those tapes and putting them into perspective of what was going on around her at the time those tapes were created.
She ends by talking about learning to satisfy your emotional needs yourself. "...you deserve to live, love, be loved, and to be happy with yourself." (40)
What tapes have you changed?
What tapes do you need to change?
What do you do when the old tapes sneak back in?
How do you satisfy your emotional needs yourself?
Here is another question...
In a book I read titled It's All About Him by Dennise Jackson (wife of country singer Allan Jackson). She talks about having issues related to emotional needs not being met at home and wanting Allen to meet them and the problems this caused in their marriage. As I was reading, I couldn't help but wonder, I realize no one has a perfect life, but how the heck do we keep our kids (especially daughters) from having issues in this area if someone who is so different from me had some of the same issues I have?
I mean, I had related some of my issues to Catholic c***, and to the fact that my dad came from a home where my grandfather was a self-medicating alcoholic, he tried his best NOT to be his dad, but he had major anger issues when I was growing up. And, my mom is not assertive at all. She doesn't realize how it affects me when I hear her put herself down. It does make me very aware of what I say about myself in-front of my kids.
I don't want to raise kids that are people pleasers. That will make themselves feel like c*** just to make someone else feel good. Although, in all honesty, I still have some of those tendencies. I know that it is because, although, I did not grow up in a home with an alcoholic, my family tended to function (or disfunction) like an alcoholic family.
Altimately, I know God is in control. Praise Him for it!
Rewinding Our Childhood Tapes...
Just the title of this chapter makes my mind rush with a LOT of Catholic c***!
So, I realize no one is reading this book along with where we are in our discussion. However...
Shannon begins this chapter talking about negative tapes she had growing up. She then went on to talk about changing those tapes and putting them into perspective of what was going on around her at the time those tapes were created.
She ends by talking about learning to satisfy your emotional needs yourself. "...you deserve to live, love, be loved, and to be happy with yourself." (40)
What tapes have you changed?
What tapes do you need to change?
What do you do when the old tapes sneak back in?
How do you satisfy your emotional needs yourself?
Here is another question...
In a book I read titled It's All About Him by Dennise Jackson (wife of country singer Allan Jackson). She talks about having issues related to emotional needs not being met at home and wanting Allen to meet them and the problems this caused in their marriage. As I was reading, I couldn't help but wonder, I realize no one has a perfect life, but how the heck do we keep our kids (especially daughters) from having issues in this area if someone who is so different from me had some of the same issues I have?
I mean, I had related some of my issues to Catholic c***, and to the fact that my dad came from a home where my grandfather was a self-medicating alcoholic, he tried his best NOT to be his dad, but he had major anger issues when I was growing up. And, my mom is not assertive at all. She doesn't realize how it affects me when I hear her put herself down. It does make me very aware of what I say about myself in-front of my kids.
I don't want to raise kids that are people pleasers. That will make themselves feel like c*** just to make someone else feel good. Although, in all honesty, I still have some of those tendencies. I know that it is because, although, I did not grow up in a home with an alcoholic, my family tended to function (or disfunction) like an alcoholic family.
Altimately, I know God is in control. Praise Him for it!
Sunday, June 28, 2009
Chapters 1 & 2
Here's the deal...
1) I want discussion! So, we are going to revisit chapters 1 and 2. Feel free to answer my questions or post your own.
2) Nicole lent out her book. So, we will be having Liz join us here in the next week.
3) Chapters 3 and 4 are intense. So, I figure this is a good place to pause, before jumping in.
Chapter 1
So, I wonder, what happened after the joy of that day? Did they ever have trouble in the bedroom? Have you always/ever felt sexually confident?Is this a mountain and valley issue for you? When have you experienced mountains? When have you experienced vallies?(Based off Sylvia's e-mail on page 7) Does your husband have issues with sexual confidence? What do you do to boost his confidence?What boosts your confidence?
Chapter 2
How do you help your husband to see that you need spiritual and emotional connection with him?When is your favorite time of the week to connect with your husband spiritually and emotionally?What activities do you enjoy doing together that encourage your need for spiritual and emotional connectedness?
What do you do to let your husband know you "think he's eye candy" (page 22)?Does your husband fill your oxytocin tank? (I'm suggesting there is a tank.)Who else do you seek regular touch from? (Especially if your primary or secondary love language is touch.)
1) I want discussion! So, we are going to revisit chapters 1 and 2. Feel free to answer my questions or post your own.
2) Nicole lent out her book. So, we will be having Liz join us here in the next week.
3) Chapters 3 and 4 are intense. So, I figure this is a good place to pause, before jumping in.
Chapter 1
So, I wonder, what happened after the joy of that day? Did they ever have trouble in the bedroom? Have you always/ever felt sexually confident?Is this a mountain and valley issue for you? When have you experienced mountains? When have you experienced vallies?(Based off Sylvia's e-mail on page 7) Does your husband have issues with sexual confidence? What do you do to boost his confidence?What boosts your confidence?
Chapter 2
How do you help your husband to see that you need spiritual and emotional connection with him?When is your favorite time of the week to connect with your husband spiritually and emotionally?What activities do you enjoy doing together that encourage your need for spiritual and emotional connectedness?
What do you do to let your husband know you "think he's eye candy" (page 22)?Does your husband fill your oxytocin tank? (I'm suggesting there is a tank.)Who else do you seek regular touch from? (Especially if your primary or secondary love language is touch.)
Monday, June 22, 2009
Chapter 1 (Remembered)
Okay, I'm sorry, I messed up. I messed with chapter 1 post and ended up posting chapter 2 over chapter 1. DARN!
Here is a summary of what chapter 1 said...
Where Did Our Confidence Go?
In Song of Songs we get a glimpse into Solomon's wedding day. He discribes his bride as, "a lily among thorns..." (Song of Songs 2:2)
So, I wonder, what happened after the joy of that day? Did they ever have trouble in the bedroom?
Have you always/ever felt sexually confident?
Is this a mountain and valley issue for you? When have you experienced mountains? When have you experienced vallies?
(Based off Sylvia's e-mail on page 7) Does your husband have issues with sexual confidence? What do you do to boost his confidence?
What boosts your confidence?
Again, sorry I deleted the original.
Here is a summary of what chapter 1 said...
Where Did Our Confidence Go?
In Song of Songs we get a glimpse into Solomon's wedding day. He discribes his bride as, "a lily among thorns..." (Song of Songs 2:2)
So, I wonder, what happened after the joy of that day? Did they ever have trouble in the bedroom?
Have you always/ever felt sexually confident?
Is this a mountain and valley issue for you? When have you experienced mountains? When have you experienced vallies?
(Based off Sylvia's e-mail on page 7) Does your husband have issues with sexual confidence? What do you do to boost his confidence?
What boosts your confidence?
Again, sorry I deleted the original.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Chapter 2
Getting on the Right Track
SPICE a term used in Natural Family Planning. Stands for spiritual, physical, intellectual, communication, emotional, all the ways a couple should be connected.
How do you help your husband to see that you need spiritual and emotional connection with him?
When is your favorite time of the week to connect with your husband spiritually and emotionally?
What activities do you enjoy doing together that encourage your need for spiritual and emotional connectedness?
My favorite time of the week is when Rick and I go into worship service on Sunday morning. Especially, if I have a hand free to hold his. I know I should be better about just grabbing his hand, but I'm not, so then I end up feeling rejected when we stand/sit next to each other and don't hold hands for an hour (ESPECIALLY if I am not holding one of our sweet little men). I LOVE IT when he grabs my hand as we are headed from the nursery to worship!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate it, not that I tell him, when he chooses to fly or finish an install or complete an annual inspection on Sunday morning instead of going to church with us. I don't want to squash his guy time and I know it is to the ultimate benefit of our family that he flies and builds hours (blah, blah, BLAH!), so, I keep my mouth shut. (Wouldn't Dr. Laura be proud?)
What do you do to let your husband know you "think he's eye candy" (page 22)?
Pam Stenvel, Sex Still Has a Price Tag, uses the tape idea (page 26) in her lectures to high school age students. In the video mentioned above she says she has brought a piece of tape with her to a lecture stuck to her arm. As she is speaking she pulls it off and sticks it to someone in the audience. Every few minutes she moves the tape back to her and then onto someone else. She then uses this piece of tape to show the kids how it no longer sticks to her and points out that no other human (husband or wife) stands a chance of sticking once that deep connection has been passed around and ripped apart so many times. (I mention this because she is a wonderful speaker, her videos are a great resource to anyone in need of talking to a junior high/high school age person about sex, and it just connects so wonderfully with this chapter.)
Does your husband fill your oxytocin tank? (I'm suggesting there is a tank.)
Who else do you seek regular touch from? (Especially if your primary or secondary love language is touch.)
SPICE a term used in Natural Family Planning. Stands for spiritual, physical, intellectual, communication, emotional, all the ways a couple should be connected.
How do you help your husband to see that you need spiritual and emotional connection with him?
When is your favorite time of the week to connect with your husband spiritually and emotionally?
What activities do you enjoy doing together that encourage your need for spiritual and emotional connectedness?
My favorite time of the week is when Rick and I go into worship service on Sunday morning. Especially, if I have a hand free to hold his. I know I should be better about just grabbing his hand, but I'm not, so then I end up feeling rejected when we stand/sit next to each other and don't hold hands for an hour (ESPECIALLY if I am not holding one of our sweet little men). I LOVE IT when he grabs my hand as we are headed from the nursery to worship!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate it, not that I tell him, when he chooses to fly or finish an install or complete an annual inspection on Sunday morning instead of going to church with us. I don't want to squash his guy time and I know it is to the ultimate benefit of our family that he flies and builds hours (blah, blah, BLAH!), so, I keep my mouth shut. (Wouldn't Dr. Laura be proud?)
What do you do to let your husband know you "think he's eye candy" (page 22)?
Pam Stenvel, Sex Still Has a Price Tag, uses the tape idea (page 26) in her lectures to high school age students. In the video mentioned above she says she has brought a piece of tape with her to a lecture stuck to her arm. As she is speaking she pulls it off and sticks it to someone in the audience. Every few minutes she moves the tape back to her and then onto someone else. She then uses this piece of tape to show the kids how it no longer sticks to her and points out that no other human (husband or wife) stands a chance of sticking once that deep connection has been passed around and ripped apart so many times. (I mention this because she is a wonderful speaker, her videos are a great resource to anyone in need of talking to a junior high/high school age person about sex, and it just connects so wonderfully with this chapter.)
Does your husband fill your oxytocin tank? (I'm suggesting there is a tank.)
Who else do you seek regular touch from? (Especially if your primary or secondary love language is touch.)
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Related Blog
Our book has a blog all its own. www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com
The first chapter is 15 pages including a 69 question assessment. I'm still planning to open our first discussion this weekend.
Happy READING!
The first chapter is 15 pages including a 69 question assessment. I'm still planning to open our first discussion this weekend.
Happy READING!
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)