Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
1 Sex is intended to be pleasurable to both husband and wife.
2 Sex should never be painful to either partner (physicial or emotional).
3 Sex should foster a sense of trust and intimacy in marriage.
Shannon discusses boundaries and why some need to be set...
1 help to establish boundaries that keep you happy and healthy.
2 build your self-confidence and help you experience the most pleasure possible.
3 foster deeper levels of trust and intimacy in your marriage.
How does fantasy, talking dirty, role-playing, porn, PDA, and three-way help/hinder sexual confidence? A discussion of these took several pages.
Finally, the chapter wrapped up with a reminder to be yourself. Do not do whatever makes him happy if it makes you unhappy.
I feel like any questions I could come up with would go into the way to personal category for this chapter.
How have you dealt with setting boundaries?
Have you had any struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries?
Other questions STRONGLY encouraged!
I don't think we've ever set boundaries officially, we just discuss what we're comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteWe attended a Family Life Marriage conference and it was one of the best things we ever did for our intimate life. There's a section where they have you go on a date, do a survey, and then discuss your survey results together. It's really helpful because it's someone else telling you to discuss it, not one of you bringing up a difficult conversation.
I dito Liz's first sentence.
ReplyDeleteProbably, one of our biggest struggles is are we both awake. I hate waking up with the, "Did we have sex last night?" feeling.
Am I the only one who had decent marriage counseling?
ReplyDeleteYes, we set boundaries before we were married. We had discussed it before it come up in our book for marriage counseling but confirmed them when we discussed it further while reading the book "Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts."
I like when we have one day a week that is set for sure that we are going to have sex but that doesn't work with a baby. If it was totally up to me, we would have a set schedule... but that doesn't actually work.
It is different being at home all day. Laundry, dishes, and toys are always looming over you. It is a different kind of tired. Although, it is the BEST to wake up laying on your side with your husband cuddling your bum and your baby suckling your breast.
Obviously Aaron and I didn't have marriage counselling before and have had a lot to work through since. We never officially set up boundaries and I am thankful that he has been respectful that when I've said no, or no way in the world would I do that...he listens.Of course then again if theres anything I've brought up he's always more than willing to try it out :)
ReplyDelete