Experiencing the Big "Oh!"
She has a really good memory. This chapter begins with a story about her "abnormal" vagina.
The bases: 1st-French kiss, 2nd-nipple stimulation, 3rd-vaginal stimulation, Home Plate-intercourse. So, when you aren't in the mood. Since 1st base is connected to home, just have hubby go slowly around the bases when you aren't in the mood.
The clitoris has 8000 nerve fibers (p109).
G-spot stimulation can lead to "female ejaculation" (p 110).
You may take 20-30 minutes to reach orgasm (p 113).
See Chapter 7 microwave vs. crockpot anology.
"Stinking thinking" often leads to "sexual insecurities" (p 114).
Don't you hate it when that happens? Do you have regular insecurities that continue to creep up? Have you had insecurities in the past? What have you done to get rid of them?
Most of my insecurities are from me being more interested than Cody and that situation being abnormal. I have thought before, "Other men want their wives all the time and their wives complain about it, why aren't you more interested in me?"
ReplyDeleteLast night I asked Cody why it seems like some days he is totally uninterested, no matter what I do, and some days he's randomly gung-ho. He said it has a lot to do with how his work day has gone and how work is going.... Wish there was a way to make his work more lenient...
Past issues are mostly from bad memories with previous relationships and those, thank GOD, are mostly out of my head. For the first few years they would pop up randomly and that was very frustrating. I would just pray and thank God for forgiving me, that I wasn't still with that person, and that He has washed me clean from those sins. And thank Him a lot for Cody.
Prayer is an amazing thing.
ReplyDeleteMy ex-creep use to creep into my thoughts on a semi-regular basis. It lead to all kinds of crumminess in my life. I do a lot of praying about it still. In fact, when we were house hunting, Rick really liked a house four blocks from where my ex-creep lived and where he raped me. We were going to look at the house for a second time. I had told Rick I didn't think I could handle living that close to where all that stuff happened. I prayed about it the night before and the morning we were suppose to go look at the house that God would give a definate yes or no on the house. Wouldn't you know, when we pulled up out front there was a sold sign on the house. It sold late the night before and the selling realator hadn't had a chance to contact our realator. God is so amazing like that.
As far as current insecurities...I guess they are mostly related to the changing body of a mommy. Three boys in four years isn't forgiving to the tummy area. Sarah and I have had some good talks about confidence in the bedroom. (Thank you, Sarah.) Plus, we have purchased the 50 Nights of Great Romance (I hope that is the correct title). It helps when we are feeling disconnected and need some inspiration. Plus, knowing that my body isn't a "complete hunk of junk" (related to fertility issues) because I have three wonderful boys who caused my body to look the way it does makes all the stretch marks and saggy boobs worth it.
I think sometimes its a little uncomfortable for women to think about or talk about their bodies as completely sexual objects. (in the right context and with the right motive this isn't a bad thing! I think some of us grew up in the idea that any sort of conversation was taboo) Which, in order to be completely confident with your hubby sometimes you just need to break down the barriers and talk with other women who know or are willing to explore options with you.
ReplyDeletePart of letting go of my past has just been a matter of healing through time and prayer. Thankfully I have been able to separate the two (past/present) more easily because they are so completely opposite from each other, there is no comparison. And just knowing that this is where I am now and I have to move forward.
And Jess...Amen about the saggy boobs, though I do believe that my hubby is once again enjoying pregnancy boobs. I told him don't expect it to last! :p
You all know, I am getting way comfortable with talking about sex. But, it has been a slow road. I remember being stunned when my cousin's wife (a very godly couple) told me they slept naked. I was in such a, "You shouldn't do that. What if your kids come in your room. And that makes it to easy for sex to happen. And your husband might see you naked. He is a guy. He isn't suppose to see you naked." Thankfully, that all ran through my head and not out my mouth.
ReplyDeleteI wish older women were more willing to come along side and give some guidance. I want to be an older woman (and I guess I am compared to newly weds) who will come along side newly wed women and help them to see how to be sexually confident with their husbands. It has been fun watching some of my friends get married recently and getting to talk to them about sex. Especially, one friend imparticular who is older than Rick and expecting her first child. I never thought I would be giving her advice about anything important, but I'm so glad I can be a resource for her.
Jessica, I think you will make a good 'older woman.' :)
ReplyDeleteJess sent out a 'you need to post 'email, so I suppose I should. I was in a bad mood this last week because I missed my first class; I thought it was on Thurs. It is really on Tuesdays.
A lot of my 'stinking thinking' is related to my house being clean and me feeling in control. I have days I feel really smart and days where I feel like I can't do anything right.
I still have high hopes of loosing another 30 lbs and getting back to my pre-baby weight. I am still adjusting to being home and finding a routine I like. ...mmm...and getting rid of my baby brain so I can remember things and speak in complete sentences.
You have high hopes for someone who would like to be pg by Christmas. But, cheers to you for hoping.
ReplyDelete