Chapter 2

Getting on the Right Track

SPICE a term used in Natural Family Planning. Stands for spiritual, physical, intellectual, communication, emotional, all the ways a couple should be connected.

How do you help your husband to see that you need spiritual and emotional connection with him?
When is your favorite time of the week to connect with your husband spiritually and emotionally?
What activities do you enjoy doing together that encourage your need for spiritual and emotional connectedness?

My favorite time of the week is when Rick and I go into worship service on Sunday morning. Especially, if I have a hand free to hold his. I know I should be better about just grabbing his hand, but I'm not, so then I end up feeling rejected when we stand/sit next to each other and don't hold hands for an hour (ESPECIALLY if I am not holding one of our sweet little men). I LOVE IT when he grabs my hand as we are headed from the nursery to worship!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hate it, not that I tell him, when he chooses to fly or finish an install or complete an annual inspection on Sunday morning instead of going to church with us. I don't want to squash his guy time and I know it is to the ultimate benefit of our family that he flies and builds hours (blah, blah, BLAH!), so, I keep my mouth shut. (Wouldn't Dr. Laura be proud?)

What do you do to let your husband know you "think he's eye candy" (page 22)?

Pam Stenvel, Sex Still Has a Price Tag, uses the tape idea (page 26) in her lectures to high school age students. In the video mentioned above she says she has brought a piece of tape with her to a lecture stuck to her arm. As she is speaking she pulls it off and sticks it to someone in the audience. Every few minutes she moves the tape back to her and then onto someone else. She then uses this piece of tape to show the kids how it no longer sticks to her and points out that no other human (husband or wife) stands a chance of sticking once that deep connection has been passed around and ripped apart so many times. (I mention this because she is a wonderful speaker, her videos are a great resource to anyone in need of talking to a junior high/high school age person about sex, and it just connects so wonderfully with this chapter.)

Does your husband fill your oxytocin tank? (I'm suggesting there is a tank.)
Who else do you seek regular touch from? (Especially if your primary or secondary love language is touch.)