Chapter 12

Redefining "Normal"

Blue Issues:
1) Is it normal that my husband wants sex practically all the time?
2) Is it normal that my husband wants to engage in anal sex?
3) Is it normal that my husband completely disconnects after sex?
4) Is it normal that my husband has a sexual fetish?

Pink Issues:
1) Is it normal that I want to have sex all the time?
2) Is it normal that I prefer to fake it rather than exert the necessary energy to experience orgasm?
3) Is it normal for me to break down and cry or break out in laughter after experiencing orgasm?
4) Is it normal that my body makes some strange sounds during sex?

That wraps up her discussion of mental obstacles. Physical coming next week...

Questions for discussion...
Was this chapter reassuring to you?
What in this chapter, if you don't mind sharing, did you find most beneficial?

Chapter 11

Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

1 Sex is intended to be pleasurable to both husband and wife.
2 Sex should never be painful to either partner (physicial or emotional).
3 Sex should foster a sense of trust and intimacy in marriage.

Shannon discusses boundaries and why some need to be set...
1 help to establish boundaries that keep you happy and healthy.
2 build your self-confidence and help you experience the most pleasure possible.
3 foster deeper levels of trust and intimacy in your marriage.

How does fantasy, talking dirty, role-playing, porn, PDA, and three-way help/hinder sexual confidence? A discussion of these took several pages.

Finally, the chapter wrapped up with a reminder to be yourself. Do not do whatever makes him happy if it makes you unhappy.

I feel like any questions I could come up with would go into the way to personal category for this chapter.

How have you dealt with setting boundaries?
Have you had any struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries?
Other questions STRONGLY encouraged!

Tantalizing Sexual Techniques

Before I start, the man on page 146 looks like the sower on top of the capitol building. Okay, now that that is out of my system...

Chapter 10
What really gets me going sexually is...
1) When you give me that "I want you" smile.
2) When you kiss me--I mean really kiss me.
3) When you reveal parts or all of your body for my viewing pleasure.
4) When you show me you're ino it by initiating creative sexual positions.
5) When you touch me in ways that you know send me through the roof! (Pages 135-136)

1) Effort minimal. Boost to confidence, for both of you, BIG.
2) Practice makes for lots of fun.
3) Be comfortable in your own skin. (I would add regardless of current size.)
4-5) Lots of ideas and suggestions on the remaining pages in this chapter.

Which one of you is hesitant about kissing (I mean REALLY kissing)? Looking back on the past do you get an understanding of how you and your spouse respond to REALLY kissing were formed?
How hard of a concept is that to wrap your mind around? He wants to see all of me even the stretch marks, saggy boobs, size ___, etc.
Ever had the, "I can't initiate anything. I'm suppose to be the nieve, godly wife. What if he asks where I got the idea to do that from?"
How do you combat the voice of doubt?

Chapter 9

Developing a Girl Scout Mentality (or is it a Nike Mentality?)

Confidence Busters and Boosters
1) Burning the Candle at Both Ends
1) Reserving Energy for Life's Priorities
2) Neglecting Personal Hygiene
2) Showering and Shaving
3) Wearing Granny Panties
3) Wearing Comfortable. Sexy Lingerie
4) Fearing Intrusive Children
4) Claiming a Parental "Time Out"
5) Getting Sidetracked by Surroundings
5) Creating a Peaceful Private Sanctuary
6) Letting the Well Run Dry
6) Keeping Lotions and Potions Nearby
7) Feeling Like a Piece of Meat
7) Feeling Like a Sexual Goddess

So...
When are you busted?
When are you boosted?
Where have you found "comfortable, sexy lingerie"?
How does the whole only shaving the lower part of the leg play into "Showering and Shaving"?
What makes your bedroom a "Peaceful Private Sanctuary"?

Chapter 8

Experiencing the Big "Oh!"

She has a really good memory. This chapter begins with a story about her "abnormal" vagina.

The bases: 1st-French kiss, 2nd-nipple stimulation, 3rd-vaginal stimulation, Home Plate-intercourse. So, when you aren't in the mood. Since 1st base is connected to home, just have hubby go slowly around the bases when you aren't in the mood.

The clitoris has 8000 nerve fibers (p109).

G-spot stimulation can lead to "female ejaculation" (p 110).

You may take 20-30 minutes to reach orgasm (p 113).
See Chapter 7 microwave vs. crockpot anology.

"Stinking thinking" often leads to "sexual insecurities" (p 114).
Don't you hate it when that happens? Do you have regular insecurities that continue to creep up? Have you had insecurities in the past? What have you done to get rid of them?

Chapter 7

Befriending the Body Image Bear

45% of women are deting on any given day (p 87)

Do you diet? What do you do to maintain a healthy weight without dieting? How long do your diets normally last?

Do you struggle with taking your husband's compliments at face value? (p 90)
What do you do when you doubt your sexual attractiveness to boost your confidence? (p 91-92)

Top 10 Positive Body Image Tactics
1 Rid your mind of sexual stereotypes.
2 Don't assume that your husband is pointing out your flaws every time he touches you.
3 Take a helthy inventory.
4 Focus on function, and be grateful.
5 Avoid unrealistic comparisons.
6 Choose your vocabulary wisely.
7 Choose your wardrobe wisely.
8 Learn to like what you see when you look in the mirror.
9 Learn to love who you see in the mirror.
10 Teach other women how to treat themselves.

Which of these is your weakest area? Which is your strongest area?

Chapter 6

Harnessing Your Sexual Power

Hi Everybody,
Sorry, for the two week absence.
Heidi, how is the spoiling going?
Page 79, How do you work at creating the "ideal love"?
Page 80, How do you handle the media portral of the "I'm to tired" for sex wife?