Overcoming the "Church Lady" Syndrome
'How do you think God feels about sex?' (229)
"the clitoris serves absolutely no other biological purpose than to provide a woman pleasure" (231)
Have you suffered from "Church Lady" Syndrome?
How did you overcome your "Church Lady" Syndrome?
What are you doing to combat "Church Lady" Syndrome in your church?
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, October 12, 2009
Chapter 14
Refueling That Lovin' Feeling
We begin to feel more like roommates than soul mates. (212)
Fuel for a woman's heart...Remember that it's easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than to feel your way into a new way of acting. (216)
Fuel for a husband's heart...Favorite four-letter word, N-I-C-E, favorite five-letter word, H-A-P-P-Y, favorite six-letter word, F-R-I-E-N-D, favorite seven-letter word, R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Passionate Love and Companionate Love
Passionate love fades as the brain builds up a tolerance. But, companionate love lasts and lasts.
What action are you going to take to fuel your heart?
What action did you take to fuel your husband's heart?
Maybe going way off topic...
Supposing you were in a long term relationship and then decided to marry that person, would the action of getting married put you back in the passionate love state? Why or why not?
Do you suppose that people who are in long term, unmarried relationships find compaionate love, thus keeping them from the need to get married? Why or why not?
How does the comment on Focus on the Family about a woman's spirit being crushed by a male who will sleep with her and not marry her play into passionate and companionate love? Does she stay because her spirit is crushed or because she has found a companion? Does he keep her around just to get sex or because he enjoys the companionship?
We begin to feel more like roommates than soul mates. (212)
Fuel for a woman's heart...Remember that it's easier to act your way into a new way of feeling than to feel your way into a new way of acting. (216)
Fuel for a husband's heart...Favorite four-letter word, N-I-C-E, favorite five-letter word, H-A-P-P-Y, favorite six-letter word, F-R-I-E-N-D, favorite seven-letter word, R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
Passionate Love and Companionate Love
Passionate love fades as the brain builds up a tolerance. But, companionate love lasts and lasts.
What action are you going to take to fuel your heart?
What action did you take to fuel your husband's heart?
Maybe going way off topic...
Supposing you were in a long term relationship and then decided to marry that person, would the action of getting married put you back in the passionate love state? Why or why not?
Do you suppose that people who are in long term, unmarried relationships find compaionate love, thus keeping them from the need to get married? Why or why not?
How does the comment on Focus on the Family about a woman's spirit being crushed by a male who will sleep with her and not marry her play into passionate and companionate love? Does she stay because her spirit is crushed or because she has found a companion? Does he keep her around just to get sex or because he enjoys the companionship?
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Chapter 13
Rising to the Challenge
Hurdles Discussed...
The Monthly Challenge
The Nine-Month Challenge
The Postpartum Challenge
"Recurrent" Challenges (STDs)
Father Time Challenge
When He Needs a Little Help
When She Needs a Little Help (includes discussion of some toys)
Going to the Extremities?
Are you committed to overcoming such physical hurdles when they appear?
Have you encouraged other women in tackling hurdles in their marriages?
What do you think about toys?
What do you think about hormonal therapy?
Have you talked to older women about their experiences with hormonal therapy?
Do you ever spend time focusing on just hands, feet, and face like suggested on 210?
Hurdles Discussed...
The Monthly Challenge
The Nine-Month Challenge
The Postpartum Challenge
"Recurrent" Challenges (STDs)
Father Time Challenge
When He Needs a Little Help
When She Needs a Little Help (includes discussion of some toys)
Going to the Extremities?
Are you committed to overcoming such physical hurdles when they appear?
Have you encouraged other women in tackling hurdles in their marriages?
What do you think about toys?
What do you think about hormonal therapy?
Have you talked to older women about their experiences with hormonal therapy?
Do you ever spend time focusing on just hands, feet, and face like suggested on 210?
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Chapter 12
Redefining "Normal"
Blue Issues:
1) Is it normal that my husband wants sex practically all the time?
2) Is it normal that my husband wants to engage in anal sex?
3) Is it normal that my husband completely disconnects after sex?
4) Is it normal that my husband has a sexual fetish?
Pink Issues:
1) Is it normal that I want to have sex all the time?
2) Is it normal that I prefer to fake it rather than exert the necessary energy to experience orgasm?
3) Is it normal for me to break down and cry or break out in laughter after experiencing orgasm?
4) Is it normal that my body makes some strange sounds during sex?
That wraps up her discussion of mental obstacles. Physical coming next week...
Questions for discussion...
Was this chapter reassuring to you?
What in this chapter, if you don't mind sharing, did you find most beneficial?
Blue Issues:
1) Is it normal that my husband wants sex practically all the time?
2) Is it normal that my husband wants to engage in anal sex?
3) Is it normal that my husband completely disconnects after sex?
4) Is it normal that my husband has a sexual fetish?
Pink Issues:
1) Is it normal that I want to have sex all the time?
2) Is it normal that I prefer to fake it rather than exert the necessary energy to experience orgasm?
3) Is it normal for me to break down and cry or break out in laughter after experiencing orgasm?
4) Is it normal that my body makes some strange sounds during sex?
That wraps up her discussion of mental obstacles. Physical coming next week...
Questions for discussion...
Was this chapter reassuring to you?
What in this chapter, if you don't mind sharing, did you find most beneficial?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Chapter 11
Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
1 Sex is intended to be pleasurable to both husband and wife.
2 Sex should never be painful to either partner (physicial or emotional).
3 Sex should foster a sense of trust and intimacy in marriage.
Shannon discusses boundaries and why some need to be set...
1 help to establish boundaries that keep you happy and healthy.
2 build your self-confidence and help you experience the most pleasure possible.
3 foster deeper levels of trust and intimacy in your marriage.
How does fantasy, talking dirty, role-playing, porn, PDA, and three-way help/hinder sexual confidence? A discussion of these took several pages.
Finally, the chapter wrapped up with a reminder to be yourself. Do not do whatever makes him happy if it makes you unhappy.
I feel like any questions I could come up with would go into the way to personal category for this chapter.
How have you dealt with setting boundaries?
Have you had any struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries?
Other questions STRONGLY encouraged!
1 Sex is intended to be pleasurable to both husband and wife.
2 Sex should never be painful to either partner (physicial or emotional).
3 Sex should foster a sense of trust and intimacy in marriage.
Shannon discusses boundaries and why some need to be set...
1 help to establish boundaries that keep you happy and healthy.
2 build your self-confidence and help you experience the most pleasure possible.
3 foster deeper levels of trust and intimacy in your marriage.
How does fantasy, talking dirty, role-playing, porn, PDA, and three-way help/hinder sexual confidence? A discussion of these took several pages.
Finally, the chapter wrapped up with a reminder to be yourself. Do not do whatever makes him happy if it makes you unhappy.
I feel like any questions I could come up with would go into the way to personal category for this chapter.
How have you dealt with setting boundaries?
Have you had any struggles with setting and maintaining boundaries?
Other questions STRONGLY encouraged!
Monday, September 14, 2009
Tantalizing Sexual Techniques
Before I start, the man on page 146 looks like the sower on top of the capitol building. Okay, now that that is out of my system...
Chapter 10
What really gets me going sexually is...
1) When you give me that "I want you" smile.
2) When you kiss me--I mean really kiss me.
3) When you reveal parts or all of your body for my viewing pleasure.
4) When you show me you're ino it by initiating creative sexual positions.
5) When you touch me in ways that you know send me through the roof! (Pages 135-136)
1) Effort minimal. Boost to confidence, for both of you, BIG.
2) Practice makes for lots of fun.
3) Be comfortable in your own skin. (I would add regardless of current size.)
4-5) Lots of ideas and suggestions on the remaining pages in this chapter.
Which one of you is hesitant about kissing (I mean REALLY kissing)? Looking back on the past do you get an understanding of how you and your spouse respond to REALLY kissing were formed?
How hard of a concept is that to wrap your mind around? He wants to see all of me even the stretch marks, saggy boobs, size ___, etc.
Ever had the, "I can't initiate anything. I'm suppose to be the nieve, godly wife. What if he asks where I got the idea to do that from?"
How do you combat the voice of doubt?
Chapter 10
What really gets me going sexually is...
1) When you give me that "I want you" smile.
2) When you kiss me--I mean really kiss me.
3) When you reveal parts or all of your body for my viewing pleasure.
4) When you show me you're ino it by initiating creative sexual positions.
5) When you touch me in ways that you know send me through the roof! (Pages 135-136)
1) Effort minimal. Boost to confidence, for both of you, BIG.
2) Practice makes for lots of fun.
3) Be comfortable in your own skin. (I would add regardless of current size.)
4-5) Lots of ideas and suggestions on the remaining pages in this chapter.
Which one of you is hesitant about kissing (I mean REALLY kissing)? Looking back on the past do you get an understanding of how you and your spouse respond to REALLY kissing were formed?
How hard of a concept is that to wrap your mind around? He wants to see all of me even the stretch marks, saggy boobs, size ___, etc.
Ever had the, "I can't initiate anything. I'm suppose to be the nieve, godly wife. What if he asks where I got the idea to do that from?"
How do you combat the voice of doubt?
Monday, August 31, 2009
Chapter 9
Developing a Girl Scout Mentality (or is it a Nike Mentality?)
Confidence Busters and Boosters
1) Burning the Candle at Both Ends
1) Reserving Energy for Life's Priorities
2) Neglecting Personal Hygiene
2) Showering and Shaving
3) Wearing Granny Panties
3) Wearing Comfortable. Sexy Lingerie
4) Fearing Intrusive Children
4) Claiming a Parental "Time Out"
5) Getting Sidetracked by Surroundings
5) Creating a Peaceful Private Sanctuary
6) Letting the Well Run Dry
6) Keeping Lotions and Potions Nearby
7) Feeling Like a Piece of Meat
7) Feeling Like a Sexual Goddess
So...
When are you busted?
When are you boosted?
Where have you found "comfortable, sexy lingerie"?
How does the whole only shaving the lower part of the leg play into "Showering and Shaving"?
What makes your bedroom a "Peaceful Private Sanctuary"?
Confidence Busters and Boosters
1) Burning the Candle at Both Ends
1) Reserving Energy for Life's Priorities
2) Neglecting Personal Hygiene
2) Showering and Shaving
3) Wearing Granny Panties
3) Wearing Comfortable. Sexy Lingerie
4) Fearing Intrusive Children
4) Claiming a Parental "Time Out"
5) Getting Sidetracked by Surroundings
5) Creating a Peaceful Private Sanctuary
6) Letting the Well Run Dry
6) Keeping Lotions and Potions Nearby
7) Feeling Like a Piece of Meat
7) Feeling Like a Sexual Goddess
So...
When are you busted?
When are you boosted?
Where have you found "comfortable, sexy lingerie"?
How does the whole only shaving the lower part of the leg play into "Showering and Shaving"?
What makes your bedroom a "Peaceful Private Sanctuary"?
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