How have you labeled yourself? How have you spoke to yourself in ways you would, "never let another person speak," to you?
Examples: "You're so _____________.
You always ______________.
Things will never get better. You're just _____________."
"'O God, chisel me. I don't want to be locked in my hard places forever. I want to be free. I want to be all that You have in mind for me to be.' It is beautiful when the Master chisels...He allows the unglued moments to make us aware of the chiseling that needs to be done."
Three things to help make the labels less sticky:
1. Identify the label as a lie meant to tear you down.
2. Choose to view the circumstances as a call to action, not a call to beat yourself up mentally.
3. Use the momentum of tackling one label to help tackle more.
Why am I always the one who answers first? Do you all just wait for me to go first? ...thanks, thanks so much.
ReplyDeleteCan labels be too positive as well?
ah, I tell myself daily that my house is a mess, that I didn't get enough done, that I didn't do everything on my list, that I need to feel a different way, ...
page 35 "How we act is how we label ourselves."
I constantly do things.
I make things. I paint people.
I read aloud to my girls-the Bible and children's books. I sing (horribly) to my girls- lots of BSF songs.
I spend, what I feel, is a lot of money on food.
I always have a list of what I need to do next not just for the day but for the whole week.
So how does that mean I am labeling myself?
busy, artist, reader, parent, caregiver, teacher, rich, a believer, ...
I would also say I hate to be late or even on time. I like to be earlier so I don't feel rushed and I can settle in when I get there.
I like to look at things that are pretty. So I want the house picked up more than I wanted it scrubbed. I will hide mail that I don't have time to go through just so the surface is pretty to look at.
I am not very good at considering myself a wife. I don't feel I am great at it.
I don't know if I've ever considered labels for myself? I do look at my day and say wow I didn't do half what I should have (i.e. laundry/dusting) :( But then I do look at the fact that I fed my kids, played counting games, got school done, let them paint/get messy (which for me is HUGE), touched base with friends, and made a great meal. Some days my scale of 1-10 is off of what I think it should have been, but then I think eh, coulda been worse! I didn't neglect my kids. I loved on them and taught them, scolded them and pushed them to do better/be better. It could be worse! :) Being a wife, thats a different category. I feel I fail SO much more at that than I do as a mom. Work in progress even 10 years later!
ReplyDeleteI love that you put in "made a great meal." :) It's good to hear you feel more successful as a mother than a wife too.
DeleteWell, that time of the month brings out the label maker in me. So...
ReplyDeleteWhy can't you keep your house clean?
You should be able to be her friend, shrink, and daughter-in-law.
Why is the front room ALWAYS a pit?
Is he upset with me because I didn't make whatever he thought I should have made for lunch?
I'm a lousy cook.
I don't know my husband well enough to be able to know I shouldn't have made that for lunch.
Why don't I know how to clean a shower? I'm a bad housekeeper.
I yell to much.
Why can't he get ____________ done without me having to yell?
Do we speak the same language?
I'm a bad a mom. A good mom would have children who obey the first time.
The labels: Bad Housekeeper, Bad Cook, Bad Friend, Bad Daughter-In-Law, Bad Mom, Bad Wife
Your house is mess because I don't come over once a week to clean it anymore. :(
DeleteYou have three children and cleaning isn't your top priority. You yell because that's how you respond first. There are no 'good' moms.
I love to come over to your house and I know your house is a mess and I know your kids don't listen (but I love them too). Maybe you need a new friend with a perfectly clean house and kids that listen the first time then you can take notes from her... oh wait, I don't think she exists. And if she does exist I'm sure she has some other fault that would drive you crazy.