"...the seeds of comparison...seeds that grow a plant called coveting, whose long, spiny vines of jealousy choke the joy out of me. Yes, that happens, and then I do nogthing but stand in front of the mirror and give my brain permission to go there...The more I compare, the emptier I become. So empty."
The "J" Word
"According to a Yale University study, social-comparison jealousy occurs when the following three conditions are present: (1) a person receives negative personal feedback (2) in a domain of life that is important to them, and (3) they believe another person is performing successfully in that same domain."
"comparison steals celebration"
James 1:15
"...when we're struggling with jealousy: we need to carry our own load (Galatians 6:4-5), and then carry some love to others (Galatians 6:9-10)
Carry Your Own Load
"'I'm not equipped to handle what she has, both good and bad -- and what she has is always a package deal of both.'"
"He (Satan) want to steal my attention, kill my joy, and destroy my creative best by making me want what God has entrusted to someone else."
"All the things I have and don't have are what make up the unique load I've been assigned."
Carry Some Love to Others
"May the seeds harvest sincere celebration for her and complete peace in me. Me. A woman once so empty and unglued. Learning. Growing. Reaping more and more fulfillment."
Questions
Have you thanked God recently for your "unique load"?
"How does your perspective change when you realize "that the life (you) have and sometimes wish (you) could exchange for someone else's is a privileged life?
How might you carry your own load and carry it well today?
How might you carry some love to others and expand your soul's capacity today?"
I think, it takes me awhile to recognize that I am jealous. I have those feelings but often I don't verbalize to myself that that feeling is jealous. Somethings are just stupid to be jealous about but I still feel that way. I should be jealous that you got married when you were younger than I was or that you have more children or that your mom and you are best-friends or that you have a sister that lives close by. Those things are so stupid to be jealous of. I don't often feel jealous about a car or a house or being able to sing or clothes or whatever. How does jealous work for you? What are you jealous of?
ReplyDeleteHave you thanked God recently for your "unique load"?
mmm...no because I haven't hung around with you (Jess) recently. I think, "oh, I am so thankful I don't have to deal with that. I just have my own little problems." Hahaha, you SO KNOW THAT IS TRUE!
"How does your perspective change when you realize "that the life (you) have and sometimes wish (you) could exchange for someone else's is a privileged life?
...I don't really think about exchanging lives with people. Is that person going to heaven? I could be in the exact same situations and not react the same. My motivations seem to often be different than others. I like to suggest things but what works for me doesn't often work for someone else because my desires are so different.
Who do you want to switch lives with? I can't think of any adult. I would like to switch with Nola maybe. Have a new perspective on how we are messing them up as parents, have a sister, have a new life to make mistakes in.
How might you carry your own load and carry it well today?
Not complain. ...I would say make dinner but I really don't want to. We are probably eating leftovers. :) Clean the girls' room. Spend my time more wisely by getting the laundry done before my husband comes home. I don't know. I don't feel lead by the Holy Spirit to do anything crazy today.
How might you carry some love to others and expand your soul's capacity today?"
Today? I'm not sure. I emailed a few people today with photos and well-wishes. I texted a few people. I'm not really planning on seeing anyone today but my husband and my kids. I want to ask my husband again what he was worrying about last night so he couldn't sleep. His only answer this morning was, "nothing important."
I want to have fun and be kind to my girls. I want to sew with No-no today. She has wanted to try and now that Evie's quilt is done I could watch her more closely. I know she would enjoy cutting the fabric.
I don't think any of that is expanding my soul's capacity. I don't know what I have done recently that would fall into that category.
Ooo, I did listen on Thursday night a lot and not talk a bunch. ...I don't know. Examples, please.
Also, why were you drawn to this weird image?
ReplyDeleteShe is empty. And, it is weird, but, also, makes you do a double take, zoom in, to be able to see the odd details.
ReplyDeleteHave you thanked God recently for your "unique load"?
ReplyDeleteI have thanked him for specific people that make up my "unique load."
"How does your perspective change when you realize "that the life (you) have and sometimes wish (you) could exchange for someone else's is a privileged life?
I am amazed and overwhelmed, often, with my privileged life. I did not expect, growing up, to be as financially stable as we are. I am thankful that we are, but intimidated by the fact that we are, almost to the point where sometimes I wonder if my thoughts would be along the lines of sabotaging us.
There is no ones life I want to switch with. On the occasion that I do find myself wanting someone else's life, I look more closely till I can see the fault lines. I got my own fault lines to deal with. They are safe in that I know, most often, where they are.
How might you carry your own load and carry it well today?
Stay on top of the boys to get their stuff done. Not get whinny or an "I've had it attitude." Get my stuff done.
How might you carry some love to others and expand your soul's capacity today?"
Taking time to snuggle and/or play with the boys. Being excited with my middlest about his upcoming big day. Help him bake a cake or something.
If I was genuinely seeking to expand my soul's capacity...
DeleteDoing something nice for mother-in-law. I'm not sure what. But, something unexpected but that wouldn't make her feel awkward.