"...what kids love and remember most are the simple things--and the free ones." (p 149)
How do you deal with the "anxiety" produced from "increased options...increased awareness of the possibilities"? (Essentially, How do you weed through all the "good options"?) (p 137)
How do you "follow biblical guidelines rather than cultural trends or rigid sex roles that don't reflect biblical truth"? (p 138)
How do you deal with the hunger for "financial security" while "still provid(ing) care"? (p 140)
How do you take care of yourself? (p 146)
Do you pray for discernment in your spending habits? (p 148)
This book wasn't my favorite to read but my gosh there are a lot of hard questions in it.
ReplyDeleteKids do remember the simple things. I am still amazed how Rumer, Macy and Ridge wanted to go to the grocery store with us when they came to visit us after they moved.
I was trying to remember stuff when I was little and it is mostly free stuff. Bike rides and going to the library with my dad. Making Christmas ornaments with my grandma. Setting up the Christmas tree and going camping with Nana and Pa. Going bowling with Uncle John. I tend to like things that we did over and over again.
I don't know what we are doing right now that our girls will remember. They are so little. Three year olds don't remember that much. And if you ask them, they always want to make bread or cookies, go to the library, ride the MAX, and go to a friend's house.
Ah, weeding through the 'good options' is difficult. I try to ignore the options because I feel overwhelmed. I don't seek things out to do, that's for sure. It took me some convincing even for ballet and that is because she repeatedly asked for her birthday. I have a lot to teach you just at home and I don't want to be scheduled to go places daily. BSF twice a week is really difficult some weeks. They don't NEED swimming lessons. They don't NEED preschool. They don't NEED piano lessons. I can teach them all those things myself. It is hard sometimes because I feel like people are bragging when they say, "My kid took swimming lessons this summer." or "My kid goes to preschool three times a week."
We tend to follow a lot of sex roles, I guess, but that is because our skills suit them more so than we feel pressure too. Also, I stay at home so I have more time to cook. My husband is a good cook and will cook whenever I ask him. He also is good with the girls. And I try to do what I am capable of without always asking him to do it-taking out the garbage, fixing little things with a screwdriver. I have issues when I am looking for him to serve me when I could do the task myself.
I don't want a job for financial security. I haven't ever worked to earn money as the main goal. I worked at a library, a daycare, a school and as a nanny. I want to work because I like the challenge and the creativity. I like people depending on me. I like the joy of helping others. And, honestly, I like work as an escape from real life for a few hours. After my dad was killed, I went to work the next day to escape from my feelings of sadness and fear.
I am currently not earning money an anyway for our family. It doesn't weigh on my heart often because I know if I was working we would eat out more, I would feel rushed all the time, the house would not be clean ever, and I would be so tempted to put work before my family.
...I am sick, at the moment, so I am not doing a very good job of taking care of myself. :) I had my husband watch the girls while I showered last night. I try to eat healthy foods. I try to rest at naptime. I think, the biggest things I do to take care of myself are artwork and BSF. I have a creative outlet and study God's word.
ReplyDeleteThe last question is specifically for me. YES. I am always analyzing what I purchase. For Lent this year and for all of September, I just purchased groceries and gas for the van. (In September, I didn't even purchase gas.) It is amazing to see how God provides even your wants. I do purchase things I don't need. But my motive to purchase things is often because I want to do an art project or because I want to make/cook something to give to someone else.
We are closing down my separate bank account next month so we will only have one joint account and I have anxiety about how this will work. My husband is on my account currently and can watch my spending online but I rarely track his spending because I feel it will upset me. We will see what the Lord has to teach us through our finances.
I often worry about if my husband dies before me how I would handle finances. When I was alone with two jobs and an apartment, things were so simple. Children complicate finances. We did get my van paid off. And his car is paid off. ...ask me again in a few months. My husband is not interested in Dave Ramsey's financial class. How do you handle money at your house?
Currently, as in for most of this year, no, I don't worry about my spending. I'm so concerned with being able to feed my youngest without bad consequences. I have bought LOTS, of items that are more expensive, that I would normally never purchase.
ReplyDeleteFinances at our house are largely handled by my husband. He deals with bills, repairs, etc. I generally purchase gas for the van and groceries. Often, he is with me or knows that I am going clothes shopping. Probably, home schooling supplies are the one shock to the spending (eg Friday Classes, curriculum, printing math books, etc). I aim to do that with the money I make from watching Shelby and/or from doula or child birth ed funds.
All the "good options" scare me and stress me out. So, often, if I must look at them, I look at the price first. If it is free, I might add it to the calendar as an, "if we are free that day and time we might try to make it." Otherwise, if it has a cost associated with it, it depends on the child it is for (interests), what the other children are doing at that time (babysitting?), and if it is while daddy is home or at work. Also, if it is on Fri-Sun when we might miss do to travel.
We follow a lot of the "rigid sex lines." Although, I do want to teach (have been teaching) the boys to cook, do laundry, etc. because I think it is important for them not to think they need a female in their lives in order to eat healthy, have clean clothes, etc.
Financial security ranks low on my priorities. I grew-up not well off and often, I am amazed at how much we have. I don't know how I would handle it to loose our security, but, I know when I reminisce about childhood, I long for it being simpler and not having as much. (Watch, God is going to challenge me at some point to go without as much and that might get ugly.) Honestly, I think he does challenge me in other ways to go without. Like with my youngest and the foods we have pulled out of our diet this year.
I take care of myself...Good question! I am lousy about this. I'm really good at stretching myself thin taking care of everyone else. Once again, I find myself looking for areas that can be cut. I'm not good at it. I really could use a book geared toward knowing how to cut, when to say 'yes' and when to say 'no.'
I know this was posted in October, but YAY for you teaching the boys about cooking/laundry...future mother in laws like me will appreciate their daughters not having to "do it all" some day Not that its not a bad thing, but seriously after marrying someone who admits his mom did it all for him...yeah, its appreciated! :)
ReplyDeleteAnd, not that I read the book, but Jess you know I struggle with the "extras" I feel are not necessary but my dh feels they are in order to have our kids somewhat mainstreamed/socialized. *puke* I feel like the 2 extra things we are obligated take so much out of us just because we spend an hour in the car + it comes at a cost to the other kids who have to tag along :p I grew up with out all that, turned out just fine, and really enjoy the childhood memories my parents helped us make off a shoe string budget. I wonder what my kids' memories will be of. The car? Bickering because they are tired and hungry from being shlepped around in the car? :( that makes me sad!