I hate when I feel like this with my kids. I love the days when I get asked, "What are we doing today?" And, "nothing," is the answer. Not that we ever have, "nothing," going on. Just nothing scheduled.
What is your spiritual gift? How do you keep it in perspective? (p 39)
On the days when time with God is lacking, how do you make time for Him? (p 41)
How do you put intention, serious thought, and planning into making your home? (p 60)
How do you slow but steadily build good in your home? (p 61)
I guess, from the Bible (Romans 12:6-8; 1 Corinthians 12:8-10; 1 Corinthians 12:28; Ephisians 4:11; 1 Peter 4:11) my spiritual gifts are teaching and rendering help. I don't really think of them as anything amazing. Maybe I should be more considerate of them being a gift from God.
ReplyDeleteSometimes a nap does wonders. :)
...ahh, when the author wrote about making those homemade cookies for that person I just did not think it was super sweet. Sometimes, I think the gift means more to the person giving it than the person receiving it.
I just don't think I'm great at making things super special. I'm not the elaborate birthday mom. I'm not the pizza every Friday night night mom. I'm just not a holiday person. I don't care about decorating for Christmas. I dress the girls up for Halloween pictures because I know how much it means to my mom.
...intention/serious thought/planning into my home? I pick up. I let the girls paint the walls of the deck. I let them play in my closet with flashlights. Yesterday, I let them get out their ceramic tea set and eat afternoon snack on a sheet.
I invite people over-- now, in the apartment, it is to go swimming. We read the Bible. I let the girls run around in whatever clothes they want to wear (or lack of clothes). We read books on the couch together. We don't yell.
I am still not convinced homemaking is something spectacular. I mean it should be different for each family and it is important but I'm not all fancy and gushy.
My questions from the chapter. (your questions are difficult to answer :) )
ReplyDeletep.21 "We are not being asked to choose what is 'right' for us. Rather one call goes out to all...the call of discipleship. We are called to follow Christ and in doing so (become like Him) become the kind of people God want us to be."
Who are you disciplining?
Who is disciplining you?
Whose house do you feel 'at home' at? How did they cultivate that feeling? (page 53ish)
How do you feel about the author's terminology 'de-skilling of people on the homefront' and 'domestic outsourcing'? (page 61)
LOVE (p65) "So often our acts of love are what help people believe the reality of Jesus' love."
http://www.kodachrome.org/spiritgift/
ReplyDeleteThis test says my spiritual gifts are craftsmanship, helps, and giving. They were asking about teaching adults...or I was interpreting the questions that way...I was thinking teaching children. This test seemed like a lot of the questions were repeated over and over again.
Have you ever heard anyone speak in tongues?
My spiritual gift is helps. I am REALLY good at overbooking myself. Something that has helped keep it in perspective is: 1) marrying a guy who has made me call and back out of things when I have over booked myself. 2) I heard/read once someone say something to the effect of, "If you aren't asked by God to do it, you are taking away the opportunity for someone else to be blessed for doing it."
ReplyDeleteSome days, my time with God is reading the Scripture on my bathroom mirror when I am in the bathroom. That is a little sad to admit to, but true all the same.
I like to be able to listen to Focus on the Family and Family Life Today from 10-11 a.m. to help get my day going and then have my quiet time in the evening after putting the boys to bed.
Intention? Serious thought? Planning? Yeah right...
Okay, seriously, there is intention in the floor plan for our home that we bought when our youngest was almost 1. I love that the front room is open and includes the kitchen and dinning area. I love that there are three large windows that look out on our big backyard.
I try to use our "school room," but I prefer doing school at our dinning table where my younger two can join in if they choose.
We pray before meals, enjoy Jonathan Sparks and Adventures in Odyssey, read books on the couch and/or in bed.
I aim to build good: 1) through home schooling. If my two oldest were off to school, they would spend so much less time together. I love that all three boys spend the majority of their days together. 2) Working on treating each other appropriately. No hitting, biting, kicking. Respecting when one of the boys wants quiet time in their room by himself.
Who am I disciplining? I will be starting to work with a couple on Thursday evening in preparation for their 1st child.
Who disciples me? I guess it depends on the need. For church stuff, I often go to Sarah H or Marcy. For Jacob's health stuff, I go to Laura or my mom. For boy stuff in general, I go to Marcy or Tess. For birth stuff, I go to Tess.
Marcy, wise woman that she is, pointed out that God does not call us to have one female in our lives that we go to with every issue or that is our mentor for long periods. Been working on thinking through the application of that. And, realizing how very blessed I am by the many women who have come along side me at different points in my Christian journey.
Whose house? Well, yours (before you moves 1000s of miles away :-). Marcy's, her boys are always thrilled to see my boys. Tess's, same reason. I could walk into either home, go straight for the kitchen and put stuff in the refrigerator or get a glass of water and neither woman would bat an eye.
I think it is sad, but true. I hate how I can end a conversation by saying I, "spend my days chasing Little Men." I do so much more than that, but most people don't want to hear it and I am not necessarily super excited to talk about how many loads of laundry I did, how I cleaned the kitchen, made breakfast, cleaned the kitchen, made lunch, cleaned the kitchen, made dinner, cleaned the kitchen, or how I spent hours trying/wishing/threatening to have toys picked up, beds stripped, boy laundry washed and folded, and how some how it still did not all get done.
Gosh you wrote a lot! :)
DeleteI want to clarify my disciplining question a little. I would hope we would be in disciplining relationships with each other so there isn't a teacher/student role but mentoring each other through what we have been gifted with. Also, I think we should always have those in mind who do not yet believe who we should be disciplining to Him- our children, family, friends and neighbors.
I really don't want one woman to mentor me because everyone has flaws and, let's face it, I need a lot of help so I would suck up all her time. ;)
My fil commented the other day about the boys birthday cakes and how it is always an adventure to see if you can, "guess what Jessica attempted to make." I love making my boys cakes. I love that you definitely are not going to purchase something similar anywhere. I love that they help pick out the decorations for the cakes after I figure out some how to make a tank, or a hill, or a Batman, etc. (Basically, I'm stewing a bit over his comment.)
ReplyDeleteJust like it bothered me in grade school when we were suppose to do an art project with our names written in cursive and everyone in class went to the girl with the best penmanship and had her write their names (SO defeats the point of showing off your art work when someone else does the base of the work for YOU!) It irritates that your can purchase care packages, or home made cookies/cupcakes/birthday cakes, etc. They taste better homemade. Not that there isn't a time and place where being able to purchase such things isn't a wonderful thing, but if possible, I want them homemade.
AMEN! to your page 65 quote.
Nope, haven't heard anyone speak in tongues. Have heard it was practice at the church Christian grew up in.
Aaaa, your fil. You love him. Your cakes are cute. They fit your family. Don't you want your boys to say their mom MADE all their cakes growing up?
DeleteDid you confront him that this hurt your feelings? MISS STUFFER? ...oh wait, that's in the next book we are reading. :)
Yeap, I stuffed it. Really was hoping he didn't mean it the way it sounded.
DeleteHomemade tastes so much better than the store bought variety! So, yes, I want to make all their cakes. It is 3/4 of the birthday party fun.
Not sure I can say now what my spiritual gift(s) would be. Seems like how I function in the church has changed over time.
ReplyDeleteI've started reading scripture and devotions on my phone because I carry that with me and it is available throughout the day. Mostly I start the day with them when I can. I am most consistent that way - although it hasn't been that way always.
Building good into my home.
- Taking care with how I greet my boys. When I am grumpy or out of sorts, I try not to extend that mood to them. Try to find ways to brighten their day or make small things celebrations.
- Hospitality - having people over even when I feel my house isn't as I would wish it to be. I don't enjoy housecleaning so if I waited until I had a "Martha Stewart" style house I'd never have anyone over. Doing my best to feed everyone and to ensure they enjoy themselves when they are over.
- Singing all sorts of hymns and songs with the boys. Teaching them as we go spiritual things. Not making it a separate part of our life, but a part of our everyday life.
If you waited till you had a "Martha Stewart" house, you would never have us over because we always leave it less than we found it. :-)
DeleteNicole - You should include hospitality in your list of gifts. You are very gifted at drawing people out of their shells and connecting people to other people. That is immensely important.
ReplyDeleteBoth you and Jessica are very good at helps and homemaking. You both are constantly finding small personal ways to make the lives of those around you better. That is very healing to those around you and is pretty amazing when someone encounters it.
Thank you, Marcy. I have this ideal picture in my mind of a homemaking. Her house is spotless and so are her kids. She can cook and sew. ...basically, I keep pasting things on that I can't do or do perfectly. Mmm, which would be everything. This is why I need Christ because I always feel not good enough and He knows I'm not but wants me just the same.
DeleteMarcy, one of your gifts, FOR SURE, is encouragement. You often seem to have just the right words and share them in away that, when you are speaking of someone else, leaves me feeling better about/toward that person. And, when you are speaking of/to me, leaves me feeling lighter. You are very gifted, and I am very thankful.
DeleteHomemaking isn't about being Martha Stewart or Good Housekeeping perfect. Homemaking is about building relationships and making memories. Homemaking is about expressing love, taking joy and nurturing hope in the day to day grind. When that is done it is spectacular in the most personal of ways.
ReplyDeleteWhen we devalue it we begin to look at it as a list of tasks that never ends and work that is never done. We are ever climbing Mt. Laundry without reaching the top. It becomes housekeeping - not homemaking.
I have found it hard to make homemaking my primary occupation. Mostly because what I thought I was supposed to do was housekeeping and what I need to be doing (although I don't always give myself permission to do so) is homemaking.
I've often found myself seeking out work outside the home - paid or unpaid because being at home just doesn't provide that affirmation that outside careers or volunteer efforts do. No one says - good show - you got the laundry done. You don't get a thank you when you fix mac and cheese for supper even when you are feeling crappy and have had no sleep. You may have slaved over a lovely new dish only to hear "ewww!" from the kids and a few obligatory bites and swallows from your spouse. When you have small children - people often don't question your devotion. But they wonder about your competence to do other things.
When I'm disconnected from other people big and small it takes a lot of the joy out of homemaking. But at the same time - making time to connect with others while I am homemaking takes intentional thought, effort and planning.
Most literature on homemaking focus on the cleanest, the freshest, the cutest, the most creative blah, blah, blah. It doesn't often focus on how those tasks can meet the needs of those around us and why those tasks are important.
Some of the fun and joy of being at home with the boys is the ability to do things like make paint bombs on Jessica's driveway or shoot water rockets on our front lawn with the boys. To let my kids do cup stacking on the dining room table and then teach them how to wash the dishes they just used afterwards. Seeing how my husband actually relaxes and anticipates the evening when he walks in the door and smells something good on the stove. I sometimes feel guilty when I enjoy these homemaking tasks when the too long list of housekeeping tasks isn't done. But in reality, I'm the one in charge of setting the priority list... why the script in my head which shouts, "the laundry isn't done!" guilts me into giving up the greater pleasures confounds me - but I confess that it too often does.
Nicole and Jess - you've been a help to me in better learning how to enter into the lives of my kids and my female friends.
Marcy, you are so articulate.
DeleteI, too, feel the draw to be outside the home. That I have to justify my existence by stating my hobbies and previous occupation.
The laundry and dishes are NEVER done. I swear the Holy Spirit hides a tippy cup under the couch just when I think the dishwasher cycle starts. I have to tell myself I can't do laundry when Zac is home. My friend, Annie, said, "This is his (her husband's) place of rest" about her home. At our church retreat, Austen said, "I get home but I have to realize my wife is still working so I need to help her so she can rest too."
There is always more work to do no need to be in prayer asking for more just for clarification on what is the most important.
Someone in my world counts it a good thing to bring Good Housekeeping and other magazines to my home for my enjoyment. I, for the first time, this week, threw the whole stack in the garbage without opening them. Just reading the cover titles makes me feel inadequate.
Delete